a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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planking.

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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