What should I name my dog?

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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69

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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Homosexual babies? It's a choice

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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like my drawing of a white person?

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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