Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +12

two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What has one eye but cannot see? A brick with an eye drawn on it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

AVI IS A FAG

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey, we're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Vagina-Boob

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chayton

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops