Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

thumb_up thumb_down +48

My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Two women were sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The Irish man was sober.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What should I name my dog?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops