Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

stuff and dogs {()}

what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

http://www.ladsta.com

i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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