Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than losing your job? Getting thrown into the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

i cannot get my penis to rise to the occasion, it is the holocaust tho..

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

thumb_up thumb_down -17

the guy below me is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

thumb_up thumb_down -21

killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

My mom's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

wait am i supposed to right the joke down here

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Busted? What the hell is going on?

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops