What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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knock knock your gay

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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WHATS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST A FLAT TIRE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops