How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

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I can't think of a joke!

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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Hey, Max!!

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Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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Whats Funnier than 24?........ 25

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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What is worse than getting the wrong haircut at a hair salon? A terrible shooting at your local Chuck-E-Cheese

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Little Timmy died yesterday

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. You guys really suck at making poems...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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