whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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Patrick is gay

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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why did the kid kill himslelf? he was bullied.

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops