Amputations.

ROSS G IS OBESE

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

A baby seal walks into a club.

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

minced oaths

A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

I cant think of one (._. )

Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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