When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

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Justin Bieber

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A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

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What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops