Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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American Idol

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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I came.

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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