What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Chuck Norris died.

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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