A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

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why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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WHATS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST A FLAT TIRE

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Yeah, totally.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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