Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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planking.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

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Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, cheeseburger.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Women's Rights

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You know George Washington? He died.

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one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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