How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

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What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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Grapefruit.

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What's hard and straight going in, and soft and sticky coming out? chewing gum

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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