Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Tim's gay.

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Knock knock whos there punctuation

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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