Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

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The Holocaust

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Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

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hi

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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What should I name my dog?

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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like my drawing of a white person?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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