Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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Q: Why did the plane crash into a mountain? A: The pilot was a tomato.

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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What did the Black guy say to the White Rapper? I really like your music.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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A straight man walks into a lesbian bar. He quickly realizes his mistake and leaves.

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What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

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I just found out that you can dislike or like something by clicking the thumbs up or down

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What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

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How old is the old man? Probably how old he is

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Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

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if quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? testicle

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Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

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Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:Why does everyone want to know it's just a chicken

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

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How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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