Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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Yo moma is so fat. yep.

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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You know George Washington? He died.

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one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

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Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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Your momma's so fat she has fat rolls on her stomach.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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-What's the difference between a frog? - it jumps higher.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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