How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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And then the devil said "Let there be Justin beiber"

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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your life

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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