A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Sup homie G. Shutup you are not black.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Go away.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops