Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Jokes are funny.

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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like my drawing of a white person?

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Teen pregnancy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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Penis.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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