what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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9/11

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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a banana

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Robin, get in the car.

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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