How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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josh roberts you speccy cuunt

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Steve Jobs.

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The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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What happened to the jew? He got shoved in an oven.

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Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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