Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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Teen pregnancy

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops