Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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I love you.

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

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How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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Your momma's so fat she has fat rolls on her stomach.

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Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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