Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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What's white and sticky? Glue

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Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

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Women's rights.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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