How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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whats gay ? you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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