Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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