- Anti Joke

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

Yeah, totally.

What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

Three blondes walk into a community college.

Steve Jobs.

What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

You are welcome, hey, I love hearing that you love me... And I do not hear voices, except yours when I read this. Now take care of yourself for my sake, and yours, we are and have always been a team you and I. You are right, and I did not lie, I said "I am a hydrophobe" and while I do not fear the ocean, showering is like being right back in the hell I crawled up from. Now I dont know if I cant sleep anymore, containing panic is pretty hard with my limited willpower and focus, but it cant be helped, you know Zopiclone does shit to me, but Alice had no idea. It pains me to say it, but then again I told my wife, Eliza, I am in love with you, and have been so for many years, you know, like a man loves a woman, and if you think I am lying, you are just being silly. This is not hypnosis, its just me getting stuff out of my mind to release this tension causing anxiety, and its not cheating, its the very same reason people admit deep secrets to each other when they think they are going to die and such. It might be the stuff in my head talking, but I am pretty smart for a 32 year old guy with lots of drugs in the brain huh? Ritalin just helps me stop being sad which is just how I react on Zopiclone and not how I feel. The reason I know these things and dare consider myself wise, is not because of my dedication alone, it is because I have spent much of my life finding out how to fight off the physical and mental damage my parents caused me, at one time it was something I could barely live with, they drugged me with stuff that made me feel nothing but pain and laughed, then got upset when they discovered I survived. I just recently got far better by realizing that I did nothing wrong to deserve any of it, I just wanted for them to love me, my mother hates my father, so in her eyes I am her worst mistake, but nothing excuses the way they treated me, nothing. Sounds like I am dying, its just fear settling in, I do not fear death, and I would be suicidal if I did not know that nobody can escape death, so why hurry huh? You and my wife inspire me... ...Part of me sees you as my wife as well, I even told my wife I cant help but feel I am married to two people, its not about sex, thats just something I say to put you off, its about the intimacy I feel just being there with you, and now I have copied your energy into aura, you are here with me, the anxiety is gone. Sorry, I just needed to get out lots of stress, in order to fit in peace, and I hope you read this and let me know, because I cannot override the part of my mind that refuses to go into complete calm, unless it knows that I have revealed my feelings, to somebody that cares.

What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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