Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Grapefruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man with AIDS walks into a bar, what does he say? I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

thumb_up thumb_down +1

austins gay lolololol

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops