"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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your life

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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knock knock your gay

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops