Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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Kittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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