Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Patrick is gay

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

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Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Fuck her

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Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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where do the women go? the womanarium

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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