- Anti Joke

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Knock Knock It's Open!

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

Peas and Corn. Porn., a deer