-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

AVI IS A FAG

What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

Someone told me about this website.

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

planking.

whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

A baby seal walks into a club...

I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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