there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Sit on Santas lap Boner

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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This is a joke with a difference. It isn't funny.

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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why is 6 afraid of 7?? because 7 8 9

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

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Q: What's worse than being fat? A: Getting even fatter than u already are. :o

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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WTF BOOOOOM

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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