what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

Kittens.

Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

I avhe dyiaexls.

An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...