How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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suck my dick.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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