Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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What's black and white and red all over? A cow being processed

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

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how do you spell ugly ? U G L Y.

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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