If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

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the guy below me is gay

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Did you know, that every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes?

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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A Rock accidentally fed a giraffe his fetuses conceived by a box of glue from Jewish Heritage that was made from marker sharpeners that fed paper to elephants while strumming a box of tissues to wipe up the mess from a box of chocolates Forest Gump feeds on your soul while a rock accidentally feeds a giraffe.

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NEVER

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC.

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Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:Why does everyone want to know it's just a chicken

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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