Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

Compton

there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

why did model 602734 have tests? he didn't

What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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