Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

A man walks into a bar. End of story.

What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

penis that is all

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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