A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Penis jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I don't care

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops