Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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HTML

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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