when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

tim rafter died no one cared

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Benevolent villain.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Rock accidentally fed a giraffe his fetuses conceived by a box of glue from Jewish Heritage that was made from marker sharpeners that fed paper to elephants while strumming a box of tissues to wipe up the mess from a box of chocolates Forest Gump feeds on your soul while a rock accidentally feeds a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Whos there? Its dad mom died....

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The man from Poland was so dumb he was eligible to live in a supervised group home.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does a tree do all day? Boredom

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

BUTTERFARTING

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops