- Anti Joke

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

Frown is a four letter word.

What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

Star Wars

stuff and dogs {()}