Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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Q, Where did Rebecca Black go to eat? A. TGI Fridays

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

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one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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