"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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Homosexual babies? It's a choice

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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i hate you.

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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