Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

GAY PEOPLE

Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

Kittens.

What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

the chicken whent boomand then died

A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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