Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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Whats the best thing that happened to the jews The Holocaust

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How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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im black

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What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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Freddie Mercurys teeth

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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Women's rights.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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My mom just died....

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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