When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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Once upon a time there was a prince and a princess. They married as was the social custom of the time, and produced a series of children whose purpose was to sustain the royal bloodline for many years to come. AF

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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i heart wiener

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

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what do you call a black person in a electronic store? a customer

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why is 6 afraid of 7?? because 7 8 9

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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Bumsniffer

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

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What's worse then finding a repeated joke on antijokes? Finding a real joke.

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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