b

It's your mother, open the door.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

An asian walks out of math class

A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

AVI IS A FAG

Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

planking.

What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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