what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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Fuck her

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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