How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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"Hello." "Hi."

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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69

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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