Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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My mom just died....

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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Someone told me about this website.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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Poopsack Jones

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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