What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

knock knock your gay

the joke below me is not an anti joke

Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Knock knock It's open, come in.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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